Early morning: you’ve been awake for under two minutes. You were awoken by a four-legged alarm clock going through a ritualistic bedroom dance that includes, but is not limited to:
- Stomping on your stomach, chest, face, and anything else exposed and squishable.
- Systematically knocking everything you own off the dresser.
- Clawing at the bed like a mental patient seeking sunlight.
- Tearing through the house singing the song of his people in the most hellish tone imaginable.
- Breaking things. All the things. Basically anything not nailed down is toast.
Said creature then decides that in order for you to have the MOST effective wake up experience he should create a slalom course by weaving through your legs. If you pass this test of dexterity he judges your reflexes by hiding under furniture and then tearing wildly through your path, screaming if you should dare to step on his tail. Once through the gauntlet-like journey from your room you reach level two: The Bathroom Challenge. Firstly, doors may never be closed. If he is in he will want out. If he is out he will want in. Basically he just wants options. Once in you must fight him for sink rights. Hint: he’ll win. Every time. He would also like the water on (not too much mind you). If you fail to turn the water on he will return to morning ritual number two, only this time it will be everything on the counter that is relocating to the floor. He does this subtly, so your sleepy self will see it as an accident and simply pick up the falling items, then turn the water on because “he’s probably thirsty”. It’s all part of his master plan to condition you into unknowing obedience. I would like to note that at this point you’ve still not done anything productive for your day.
Back when Spider was just a small fry…
Once you have been tested on bathroom etiquette a la cat he turns his attention to food. He needs it now. Five minutes ago would have been better. It’s like he hasn’t seen food for a week. If you don’t immediately exit the bathroom and reach for the kibble you are dead to him. More correctly, he will be dead from malnutrition and come back and haunt you until you wish you were dead if you don’t put food in the bowl RIGHT MEOW. At least that’s how he sees it. At this point I deviate from the dictated schedule and do the unspeakable, I LET THE DOG OUT OF HIS CRATE. And then, unfeeling beast that I am, I take said animal outside to relieve himself. How dare I. Upon returning I can usually find the betrayed being perched on his table giving me a look that could melt titanium. Fearing for my safety while I sleep, I quietly fill the bowl and back away slowly. Now that his impending starvation has been staved off the feline resident has no more use for his human companions…until dinnertime.
What?! Chesney was not featured in this post?! Well, everything is not always about him. But don’t tell him that or you’ll give him a complex. We love bother our fur babies equally, and while Spider prefers to be out of the limelight most of the time, occasionally he needs a moment (or blog post) as well. Plus I told him if he didn’t stop trying to trip me I would reveal his morning tirade to the world. He thought I was bluffing. Ha!
Wouldn’t it be amazing to look back over your life and remember a snapshot from each day? Not necessarily a momentous moment…after all, who has a momentous life event every single day? That would be stressful. Just a glimpse into each 24 hour window, even a mundane glimpse of that tree in your yard or the resident pigeon that insists on cooing on the porch at 5 am EVERY single morning and will not I repeat NOT be deterred by any means of bird repellent or loud noises or cat being throw wildly out the door directly at said demon bird. I digress. Where were we?
I recently stumbled upon something called Project 365 while perusing this delightful photography site Click It Up A Notch. It’s brilliantly simple, take a photo a day for a year and upload it to Instagram, Facebook, a blog, website, or just about anywhere to keep yourself accountable. After the year is up you’ll not only have a gallery of AN ENTIRE YEAR OF YOUR LIFE, but theoretically have learned so much about taking so many different kinds of photos. All by simply taking a photo a day. I’m sold. It’s happening. And because I’m SO excited about this, today I’ll be uploading two photos! Starting strong.
If you’d like to follow along I’ll be posting all my photos-of-the-day to my Instagram (linked in the menu) and on my website (seriously the menu is your gateway to my internet life) plus I’ll be talking about how this whole endeavor is going right here on the blog. Of course I’m still going to have all the Chesney stories (lets be real, he’s going to be in practically every picture) but I thought this would be an awesome way to connect everything I love into one fun little project! Thanks for your support my digital friends! (Unless you’re not feeling supportive of this, in which case you should probably have a Snickers or something ’cause clearly you’re hangry. After all, it’s not like I said YOU had to take all these photos…)
Here we go in…3…2…1…
Spider thinks this project is boring.
Chesney would like to eat the camera.
Greetings! Just a quick update, I’ve started this new adventure and it’s eating up all my time (in the best possible way). Check out the Photos Unleashed page in the menu (or just click this handy link) to see what I’ve been up to!
To atone for my absentee blogger ways I offer you my official TO DO list. This gives you some things to look forward to and now that I’ve put it out there I pretty much have to deliver on these promises or appear to have campaigned under false pretenses. Which would make me a jerk. Or a politician. Thus without further adieu…
- Pupdate! He’s destroyed so many toys and terrorized so many neighbors since last we spoke.
- Instagram refresh. Hold onto your hats. It’s going to be a wild ride.
- Project 365. It’s going to be great. It’s going to be challenging (for me, not so much for you). It starts TONIGHT! That’s all I’m telling you. Don’t google it. Don’t ask your friends and loved ones to brainstorm the meaning of it. Just enjoy the suspense until…drum roll please…tonight. Ok that wasn’t as dramatic as I’d hoped. But you get the picture. That will be so much funnier later.
Thanks for reading my loyal following that I abandoned on the interwebs for much too long! I appreciate your patience and love and am going to go work on my to do list now! Check back tonight for the meaning of LIFE! Or item three on the list. I may need to scale back the caffeine intake…
He wishes I’d cut back on the caffeine too.